Double Agent 73 (1974)

Country: United States
Director:
Doris Wishman
Starring: Chesty Morgan, Frank Silvano, Saul Meth, Jill Harris, Luois Burdi
Music: Cine Tops

Director Doris Wishman has a reputation for cult nudist and sexploitation films, and Double Agent 73 unashamedly falls fair and squarely into the latter category. It is simply poor quality smut! The Double Agent 73 of the title is Chesty Morgan, whose ridiculously large 73 inch breasts are the star of this low-budget exploitation film. In you’re into films that are so bad that they are good, then this may appeal, but I doubt it.

I’ll attempt to detail the plot, but it basically non-existent and simply an excuse to hang a few titty-jokes on. I use the word ‘jokes’ loosely as there are few laugh out loud moments.

Firstly, Chesty Morgan is a secret agent named Jane Tennay. Her mission is to track down ‘Toplar’ (Frank Silvano), who is a dirty heroin smuggler. To aid Tennay in her mission she has a camera implanted in her left breast. As her mission progresses, she has to photograph evidence and everyone she kills along the way. That in itself could have been a nice little plot device – cheesy yes – but we are talking about a film which stars a giant set of boobies. But instead of presenting this goofy setup in a fun way, it is presented in the most dreary and repetitive fashion. We are treated to scenes where Tennay enters the rooms of the individual suspects, then disrobes to photograph evidence. Next, the suspects burst into their room, and find Chesty going through their belongings. Chesty then has to defend herself by throwing around her enormous mammaries. Sounds fun. It isn’t. After you’ve seen this played out twice, it wears very thin.

If this sounds like your cup-of-tea, let me assure you, you’d be far better off watching a Russ Meyer movie, or if you want to stick with the spy genre, maybe look at Zeta One, which is equally as smutty but provides a great deal more fun along the way. A curious note to end with, the titles state that this movie was made in 1980, but in fact it was released in 1974.

This review is based on the Something Weird DVD

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